This poem was written by myself one night when I planned to commit suicide and found writing a letter too hard. I have obviously not gone through with it. this poem originally meant for my family, my flock family, I feel I can move on from that stage of my life
How I FeelNo matter where I go though, these feelings stay inside.
How can I stay here & live each day a lie,
When all I want to do is close my eyes & die?
I see the pain I cause you, with every tear I shed.
I plead with you now max, let me go instead?
I wish I could take you with me, to a happy place,
Whether it exists though, is time for me to face.
Can I ask for your forgiveness? For you to set me free,
It may seem ungrateful, but this life's not meant for me.
Thank you for all your love, for all the time we shared,
It means the world to me, to know that someone cared.
9 comments:
okay joey this is sooo depressing but shockingly your not the only one last year i did the same thing except my mom found it before she was supposed to. it wasb really depressing i had to skip a couple days of school to go to a counselor for an emergency at one point. depressing if you need to talk im here.
were you really going to? joey! you can't do that to us!! wow...maybe I should've thought of that last night when I thought about that. joey i'm so sorry. I would've cried for days if you did!! joey, don't EVER think about that again, please! I am begging you!!
ok, just as long as u wont ever think bout it either. u know wat that wud do 2 us? Liz was already on the verge of tears this morining.
Joey! I'm still here! I'm still here, okay? I promise, i would never hurt you on perpouse. And no matter what happens to me, I'll never leave you, k? I-..... I guess the only reason i'm still here is because I didnt want to hurt u. I dont know if I could do that to anyone... just-... idk. But I love you, k?
x.X| . [j] a n a e . |X.x
Dont ever think that again!!!! PLAESE JOEY! U JUST CANT!!!! we love u and we need u! And Max, and Angel r fine!
oki. joey. i talked to some fancy counciler person last night. if you need help, talk to a counciler. surprisingly it works. and then go out and eat chinese food and take the next day off and...well, thats what i did. and then me and my dad hung out this morning and he bought me shoes, candy, and a guitar book.
so be happy. please. i would NEVER hurt you, okay? you are like my brother and i can't live with out my real brother imagine how i'd feel if i lost my...other brother. so please don't do it again okay? i love you like my sibling, kk?
Angel
kk, i wont ever think about it, it is just, if u knew wat it was like in my house a while ago, ud know why i tried to escape like that. i never wanted to hurt you all. i love u all, and that will never change, not even when im rotting in my grave singing America's next freak. i love u all.
~Ari
hahahaha AMERICA'S NEXT FREAK! good song god song! but anyways, down to business...... Angel is fine.... but Max... not so good!!!! we need to help her! she is seriusly thinking.... no not even serious thinking! She is gonna commit suicde if we dont do anything! we cant loose her! we cant.... i cant loose 1 of my best friends ......*coughcoughagaincoughcough*.....
But anyways.... we need to help her! tell Angel to tell Janae about the councilor k? we need to find a way to help her.... we have 2nite and maybe 2morrow... after that i dont no how much time she has left! WE NEED TO KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HER!!!!
Im SCARED 4 HER!!!!
~Nudge
nooo! i cant loose her, i just cant! it wud be like loosing a part of myself, and if she did it, she wud b ripping out my heart! All of our hearts! Max, if ur reading this, and still havent made a disision, please dont do this. u wudnt have been put on this earth to take ur own life, we wudnt want u to, God wudnt want u to, and face it... u wudnt want u to. dont only think about the people ud hurt if u dod this, think of how ud hurt. and face it. Satan isnt sum1 ud like 2 spend eternity w/, becuz God wudnt take u into heaven if u took ur own life, and when i die, i wanna be able to spen eternity flying over the highest clouds, with you.
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